First Ramadan

Ramadan is here. I’ve watched my wife observe it in years past, so I get the general idea. But I don’t feel like I fully understand it.

I have decided it would be best to spend this month observing, studying, and learning – but not fasting. I don’t even know how to do it properly. I understand what it means to go without eating and drinking, not that I’ve done it really, ever. But nonbelievers can partake in self-deprivation. There is more to Ramadan than that.

A long time ago when I still called myself a Christian, there came a point where I felt it was inappropriate for me to take part in Communion ceremony when I couldn’t honestly embrace the faith. Because if Communion truly meant something, it struck me that partaking of it without a whole heart investment would be sacrilege.

This isn’t like that; I have no crisis of faith in Islam, new though I am. But Ramadan is important enough to not do lightly. I want to do it right. And right now, I don’t know how to do that.

But this is a great opportunity for me to learn all about it. There are two visiting Imams here from the United Kingdom, and we’ve all been encouraged to ask them any questions we have without embarrassment. I do not intend to let that opportunity slip away.

Oh Allah, please forgive me if my decision to wait a year turns out to be wrong. You know my heart, and my sincere desire to “do” Islam in the right way. May You hold me accountable if I squander this chance to increase my knowledge of Islam. Alhamdullilah.

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